Why we're here.

In the now almost-seven months we've been here, in the eight months we've had this blog, we've never really shared about what brought us out here. About why we're here.

Yes, Rene got a job. And though those are harder to come by these days, a job in and of itself wouldn't have lured us away from all we've ever known and all those we love. It's much more than that. It had to be.

See, we really didn't want to move across the country. Not at first. But God made it pretty clear that He was the one lining things up. We didn't do a thing. Just obeyed. So here we are.

And this video does an amazing job of showing what we are so privileged to be a part of. Take a look...

What are you afraid of?

by David Olkarny

God asked me that question this week. And the answer, well, it was illuminating. Here's a bit of background… Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to be an artist when I grew up. always. I wanted to paint, draw, anything that involved creating something. As long as I can remember, I've always felt that it's what I was made to do somehow. In more recent years, I've even had complete strangers pray for me and prophesy about how God would use me as an artist somehow, through painting specifically.

Now ask me how often I paint these days…  Probably once or twice every few months. yes, months.

(Ouch. I hate answering that question. It reminds me of exactly what I'm sharing with you today.)

You're probably thinking "Okay, crazy Jess, why are you not spending any time at all doing the thing you love most and you know you were made to do?"

I am afraid. 

I'm afraid of not being good enough. of failing. I'm afraid of making art that doesn't live up to my own expectations. I'm afraid of not being as good as this artist or that artist. I am so afraid. And I've allowed it to paralyze me.

I've known this for a while, but as of late God has been revealing to me just what this fear means. It doesn't come from humility or insecurity. It comes from pride and self reliance. I am too proud to even allow for the chance that I will fail. And in doing so, I am completely relying on me and not at all on God's provision and direction.

Some big changes are in order. Some of the outward sort. But mostly the heart-transplant sort of changes are needed. I need God to step in, rid me of my pride, and show me again how to trust Him. even when I am afraid.

It may not be painting for you, but we all have something. Something that we have allowed fear and pride to keep us from doing. Something that we have grasped too tightly in our own hands. We are all learning to trust.

What are you afraid of? 


xo, 


Jess

But also do.

It’s really easy to say and say a lot. That one phrase that pops up when you don’t know what else to say and the conversation gets real.

“I’ll be praying for you.”

And we pray for them. And then that’s all.

Someone tells us you about a rough patch in their life and sometimes that’s the default response… prayer. And it absolutely should be. I’m not questioning the need for or effectiveness of prayer. We should bring our issues and the issues of others before God and ask Him to act. But then what?

I think that so often, we can pray for God to do something all day long and still be entirely oblivious to the fact that we might be the way he wants to do it.

“If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking daily food, and you say to them ‘Go in peace, be warmed and filled,’ without giving them the things the need for the body, what good is that?” 

James 2:15-16

What good is it if we pray for God to do the very thing that we are capable of doing but still don’t do? 

…If we pray that God would provide for someone struggling financially, but don’t help them ourselves? If we pray that God would free someone from loneliness and depression, but don’t take the time to befriend and encourage them? If we pray that God would show His love to someone, but we never love them? What good is that?

Pray, yes. But also do.

xo,

Jess

The Everyday Theologian

What comes to mind when you hear the word theology?

Is the thought, or emotional response, positive or negative? 

I know for some us, moving past our connotations to the word theology and getting to the concept of theology can be challenging. For one reason or another, theology either scares us or makes us want to check-out mentally. That was my experience with it, and maybe yours too. 

In my mind theology was nothing more than the deep conversation (or debate) about something spiritual or God-related. A concept, I thought, that was irrelevant to my life; even my Christian life. I thought knowing that Jesus came to die for my sins was enough to help me live the Christian life. I've been discovering though, that if I want to "get better" at doing the Christian life (or even know what it means to live the Christians life), I simply need to know more. Think about how this concept works in other venues.

If I want to lost weight, I need to learn (or study) how, so that I can apply it and lose weight. If I want to play the piano, I need learn (or study) to learn how to play. You're most likely going to school to learn (or study) how to do something or be something. What's my point? We study & learn because that knowledge hopefully will help us do something (either new, or to improve-upon). 

As Christians, we are called to be like Christ. That's an incredibly difficult thing to do if we have no idea who Jesus was while He was on earth, what He stood for, or what His words mean. The same goes for loving God & loving others. Those tasks are going to be difficult to complete if I know nothing else aside from the fact I'm "somehow" supposed to do them. 

How would you respond If your friend came up to you and asked "Hey, could do something for me?" but said nothing else after that? Wouldn't that leave you a little directionless? Wouldn't you respond with something like, "Yeah sure, what? or where? when? how? why?" When we ask those questions, we are seeking-out more information in order to respond to our friends request to go do something. Otherwise, completing our friends request will be a guessing game, and we'll most likely not do what he or she wanted us to do. It's no different with God. 

God has called us to respond; to be set apart, to love Him with all our heart, soul, and mind. He's called us to love others as we love ourselves. He's called us to influence our world and culture, without falling for some of it's destructive patterns. If we want to obey God and live according to His standards, we need to ask questions and actually think about what He means when He speaks to us through the Bible. Otherwise doing the Christian life is a guessing game, and we're risking not doing what God has actually called us to do.

But being a theologian isn't something reserved for only those who enjoy reading history, greek or hebrew. There are those who consciously learn about God, but I would say there are even more of those who sub-consciously learn about God. The reality is we (Christians and non-Christians) are constantly being bombarded with questions, perspectives, insights, experiences, and reasons relating to, and about, God. What I want to point out is that these theological influences come from many avenues: songs, movies, television, tweets, posts, articles, books, etc. all of these avenues have the potential to shape how we view God in some way. 

Here's are some examples. You saw a movie with "gods," and so you connect the character of God with that of Zeus or Poseidon from Wrath of the Titans. You hear a song that mentions failing love, which could influence how you read "God's love never fails." You miraculously found a parking spot at the store, and someone you're with mentions God's blessing you. Through some avenue (books, media, conversation) you learn about starving children around the world and you hear the question "how could God allow that?" 

Because our theology is constantly, sub-conciously influenced, my hope and challenge for you is to consciously be getting accurate theology. Why do so many people have a different (and at times inaccurate) view of God? Because their theology only consists of their own experiences and influences. Where does good theology come from? A careful study of the Bible (to read out of the Bible, not read-into the Bible). Someone with good, accurate theology, is able to obey and follow God much closer, than someone who doesn't. Theology isn't just some foreign language or distant concept, it's what influences how we view God, and how we live out the Christian life.

(This post was originally written for LCBC's Saturate Blog. Check it out here http://networkedblogs.com/wwFJI )

--René

living faithfully

Have you ever read the stories of martyrs and soldiers, of those who have sacrificed their life for the good of others or the sake of the Gospel, and wondered if you would do the same? If in their shoes, would you make that choice, that same sacrifice?

Maybe it’s easy to say we would, from our comfortable lives that know no risk or danger. Or maybe we’re honest with ourselves, knowing full well that we would lack the courage needed. Or maybe we couldn’t answer that wonder at all.

But regardless of the answer, I would venture to say that we all hope to be there. We all want to believe that we would do the right thing. Put others before ourselves. Be the hero. Live courageously and faithfully.

It seems like the sort of thing we can only conjecture about, because most of us will never face the circumstances to test us in those ways. But I don’t think it is. I think that by claiming we’ll never face such a test, we miss out on a beautiful opportunity.

Living faithfully has very little to do with our circumstances, and absolutely everything to do with our hearts.

If our hearts our in a place of humility, selflessness, and faithfulness, our actions will follow. No matter the risk (or lack thereof).

In the words of Jesus, “He who is faithful in the little things is also faithful in the great things…” Luke 16:10

If we live faithfully right now, in the smallest aspects of our lives, we will respond faithfully should those big tests ever come. It starts with the small things though. The ones we can do right now. Today. That’s the beautiful opportunity.

For me… it means spending less time entertaining myself, and giving more of my time to people. It means staying up and listening to someone’s hurt when I’d rather go to sleep. It means keeping our home clean and beautiful so that we can open it to friends and strangers. It means putting our money where our hearts should be.

It means a lot of things that are sometimes difficult to do, but are infinitely worth doing because they shape our hearts to look more like the heart of Jesus: a heart that loves unconditionally.

           

What does practicing faithful living look like in your life? What are your “little things”?

xo,

Jess

good morning and a cup of tea

Do you ever wake up and feel stuck? Rush out of the house to work and all of the sudden half your day is gone? I feel like we have those all the time. If I don't start the day off right, I always feel like I'm collapsing beneath my to-do list when I should be the one in control of it. 

So I am protesting. no more wasted mornings. 

For me, that means a cup of tea [or a latte if I'm lacking sleep] and some quiet Bible reading [& also some C.S Lewis]. Perhaps a walk down our street. Fresh air. Bird songs. Prayer. That makes for a better day every time. 

Here's to leaving room for inspiration.

 

Learning Patience

[me and one of my oldest, dearest friends circa 1997. Yes, be jealous of our bangs.]

So often we don't realize what a huge part of our life something is until it's no longer there. We were living where we both grew up in California. We were surrounded by friends and family who had known us for years and been with us through our ups and downs. We had history.

We were prepared for & expecting to miss those people. We definitely do. And it's difficult, but at least expected. I don't think we realized how much we would miss that history though. No matter how much you "click" with a person you've just met, nothing can replace those years of memories that built our relationships before.

Now, I am naturally pretty shy, but I love people & I love being close with them. I can also be a little socially awkward in unfamiliar/group situations. So in our first couple weeks here, I would ramble. If I felt a connection with someone new, I would get instant word vomit. I just wanted to tell them everything about my life and be instant best friends. (Thankfully God is gracious and it's likely that only a couple people think I'm a complete narcissist).

I was trying to force myself and others into deep relationships that take time to develop & cannot (& should not) be contrived because I was so afraid to be without those relationships. It took becoming that socially awkward, rambling version of myself for me to recognize that fear for what it was: a lack of trust in God.

I still have that fear, but I can choose to let it control me or to give it up to Jesus on a daily basis. I can choose to be a slave to that fear (or any other!) or I can choose freedom in Christ & listen when He says:

Let me sustain you in this time. Let me use it for the purposes I have planned for you. 

It takes time to build history with people. I will never have a friend here who can reminisce with me about our 2nd grade teacher. Who can laugh with me about our awkward adolescence. Or even who was at our wedding. But I know that God is faithful. I know that he will provide those strong, deep friendships that we need. But it will be in His time. And until then, I will learn not just to wait but to wait on Him and be free from fear and uncertainty.

Dear friends, It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. (Gal 5:1 NIV) If we will only let go of our own fears & trust that God will provide for us, we can experience a freedom like no other.

What is controlling you? What is it that you need to give up to God? Pray that He would give you the strength and faith to trust Him and not give into fear. He will do it.

~ jess

missing the sea

via

Disney's The Little Mermaid was released the same year I was born and is the first movie I ever remember seeing. When I was about six years old, I genuinely considered swimming into the bay and becoming a mermaid but opted out because I didn't want to leave my family. Part of me still wants to believe that's actually possible.

I grew up just down the street from the sea. It's always been a part of my life as long as I can remember.

Have you ever had a place that, every time you are there, just leaves you in awe of God's beauty... That leaves you standing star struck by the vast, amazing work of art before you... That place for me has always been the ocean. I've never lived farther than fifteen minutes away from it and now that I no longer do, I realize how much I took that for granted.

But to be honest, missing the sea has made me realize how closed minded I have so often been to beauty of another sort. The same God who created the majestic coast of California also created the ever changing hills that surround me now. He created waves and sandy shores, but He also created trees and sunsets and seasons. All of which didn't have to look pretty in order to be practical, but are. God has created a beautiful world for our enjoyment and His glory. So who am I to say that any single stroke of this painting we call home is of lesser beauty and value than another?

I still miss the ocean as much as ever. But I am learning to stand in awe of golden light shining through intertwined branches. of snow that blankets hills in pristine white. of bricks and rooftops laid three hundred years ago still standing. I am learning to find beauty in the everyday things that are not yet familiar to me. And I am learning to see God's workmanship where I never thought to look for it before.

The rough patches

“God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks to us in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: 

It is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world” 

~ C.S. Lewis

These past few days I've been battling a rough case of homesickness.

As excited as I was (and am) to be here, I've been feeling really alone and a little lost. There are wonderful people that we've met. But we've still just met them. I'm longing to be surrounded by those who know me best. And they are all so far away right now. I don't want to give up and go home. I just want to be done with this phase of moving already.

I am glad we're here. And I know that God brought us here. But that doesn't necessarily mean things will automatically be a breeze. It doesn't mean that I will magically make friends overnight. It doesn't mean that we won't miss our families and life long friendships back in California.

The reality is, God hasn't promised us that this would be easy or that we'd even like it.

But He has promised to never leave us. He has promised to give us peace. to give us joy in the midst of all things. That we will never really be alone. That He will provide for us. That His plans for us have a purpose... It's a long list.

Because I know that... It's now up to me. I can either crawl into a corner and try to escape, or I can recognize God's sovereignty and choose to trust Him.

God grows us, speaks to us, comforts us, and loves us in the midst of pain in such a tangible way. He makes it worth it. Because I know Him, I know that it will be.

So, dear friends. Keep us in your prayers. Pray that we would allow God to grow us through the rough patches.

Also, here's some adorableness thrown in for good measure... you're welcome.

What we're reading | Praying God's Word

This book by Beth Moore was recommended to me by one of my best friends (whom I have been missing a lot since the move).

It's more of a devotional & reference book than a straight through sort of read. It's one of those books that will be highlighted and underlined and collect many a bookmark. It will tag along with me on trips and sit on my bedside table for a very, very long time.

There is so much I could share about this book. I could probably write an entire blog inspired by it. But for now I will just share few quotes from it that have deeply encouraged me in the past few days. I hope they do the same for you.

Thoughts on prayer

I'm taking a queue from my dear friend Laura today.

She recently posted a blog about how her sweet, amazing grandmother who is losing her vision. She asked for prayer.

I started praying for her as I read the post and found myself saying, "Lord, I know that you have the power to restore sight to the blind. You have done it... I read about it yesterday..."

I'm going through a reading plan on YouVersion called the Essential 100 and read Mark 8 yesterday.

 ²² They came to Bethsaida, and some people brought a blind man and begged Jesus to touch him. ²³ He took the blind man by the hand and led him outside the village. When he had spit on the man’s eyes and put his hands on him, Jesus asked, “Do you see anything?” ²⁴ He looked up and said, “I see people; they look like trees walking around.” ²⁵ Once more Jesus put his hands on the man’s eyes. Then his eyes were opened, his sight was restored, and he saw everything clearly.

I'm going to be real honest right now. I kinda tuned out while reading this yesterday.

Simply because I knew the story. I'd heard it in Sunday School and High School chapel and in Youth group. It's not that I didn't believe it. It was just familiar. But as I prayed for Laura's grandmother today, looking at the photo of her right in front of me and asking God to do something that He has done before... That story in Mark became so different. It became alive.

See, it isn't just a story. That blind man was someone's family. Maybe he even had people praying for him. And Jesus restored his sight.

That Jesus who healed the blind man is the exact same Jesus we can pray to today.

Our God is powerful.
He is capable.
He is unchanging.

May we keep this in mind when we come before Him in prayer and be encouraged by it to do so more often.